Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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