sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
PANTIES FOUND
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
