I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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