Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
