Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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