Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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