I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The best revenge is premature balding
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize