i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
