He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That's how pantless uber rides happen
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
