I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
