PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize