That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
