I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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