hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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