operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
