Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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