After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
