Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
