So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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