I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Be still, my beating vagina.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
