Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
