i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
