I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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