For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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