Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
