I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
