It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Bring me that man meat
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
