fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
