just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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