a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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