Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
