you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you will always have a special place in my vag
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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