my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
