3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
