there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize