I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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