Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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