I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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