Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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