Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
