you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
