i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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