if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
