come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
