Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
