guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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