WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Randomize
