lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
