yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
