just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just had sex on a roof
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
