bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The adults are the big ones right?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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