So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize