Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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