operation harelip BJ is a go
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
