i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
