I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
