Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
