Dual....:-)
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
