So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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