Christians are straight up FREAKS
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize