you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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