ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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