I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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