You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
