I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
