last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
